ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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