Sry I called you an 8
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
50% drunk capacity currently
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
