It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
