my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
