why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
