You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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