you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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