so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
