Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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