dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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