You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
