Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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