Do vagina's smell?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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