It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
