I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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