i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
