It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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