Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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