don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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