i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
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