I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We need a shit load of segways right now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
