nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
