last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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