thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just want to make out with him forever
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
