Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
