I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
