So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
