i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
