I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
