remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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