What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Boobs speak an international language.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize