the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
