suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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