One girl and one boy is just not enough.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
