idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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