i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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