i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Randomize
