Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
