We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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