I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
