The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
