Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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