I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
