ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
