What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
