You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
