eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
