I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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