I need help removing her.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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