if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
