What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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