i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
