Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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