im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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