I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
