the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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