sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
