im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
