She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
