guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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