I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
