there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
