So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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