My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Two words: nipple clamps
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